I guess next to sex, eating unlimited amounts of chocolate while being in great shape and having more than enough money, everyone wants to be self-confident. Right?
But are we talking about the same thing when we are talking about self-confidence? Let’s have a clsoer look at it and check .
As there are plenty of crazy ideas around what self-confident people are like:
#1 Self-confident people are born like this.
Nope. Babys are just babys. What kind of experiences they make will help them either to strengthen or to weaken their self-confidence.
Self-confidence is built up in a process and it’s homemade and not given.
The interesting thing: Very successful and self-confident people often had very rough times in their life. And this helped them to become who they are today.
However, your story is – It’s never too late to build up your self-confidence. Chin up high and start to empower yourself today.
#2 Self-confident people are selfish and arrogant
To believe in yourself and not to be afraid to show your inner diamonds and pearls has nothing to do with being selfish: Being self-confident is not the same as being selfish or narcissistic. A narcissistic person only sees herself as great and only great (great again – does it ring a bell?) and if there is a problem the others are causing it never her. The narcissistic person never takes responsibility for any fault.
So, it’s on the contrary: Being self-confident means to be conscious about yourself – about your skills, your diamonds and pearls but also about your dark side.
We all have parts in us we are not proud of. Being self-confident means to resume the responsibility for yourself, your actions, your part in every relationship and your life.
Therefore, being self-confident is everything but selfish, it’s a social act. It’s social to show up and being responsible and taking action instead of blaming others and the world for everything.
#3 A self-confident person always feels secure about herself, others and life.
As I mentioned before a truly self-confident person knows about her insecurities, knows her pain points. But she still owns her kingdom! She knows herself, her dreams, her mission and her skills.
And she learned to trust herself that she will find a way to cope with inner and outer challenges.
She will have bad days. She will be struggling some days. But she will always fall back onto her feet. This she knows as a fact.
#4 Self-confidence is what we get after we did XY.
Yes AND No. Self-confidence is the thing making us XY! That’s why self-confidence is like the big mama of all your skills and power actions:
It gives you the right kick to embrace new stuff, to take some action and to behave in a certain way. When we believe we are able to do something we will do it.
And that’s often the reason why lots of people don’t start with something new. They are afraid to fail or embarrass themselves.
BUT that doesn’t mean we should wait for being self-confident until we can do something. We tend to say: Oh, if I were as self-confident as her, I would do that too. Bullshit! It’s a vicious circle – we have to start somewhere!
Self-confidence, of course, will be strengthened by having positive feedback through successes. And successes only happen if we step out of the comfort zone and risk something new.
Conclusion
Self-confidence doesn’t mean you are always 100% sure about yourself or about your next steps. Self-confidence isn’t something you can buy or you were born with. It’s always homemade.
Self-confidence means to trust yourself no matter what life’s offering you. To believe in your power no matter how hard your mindbugs or other people or situations are trying to convince you from the opposite.
Self-confidence means to stick with your truth and to stand up for your desires and values – unconditionally.
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